Friday, September 18, 2009
Give Yourself A Break
My general philosophy around landing the job you want centers on taking action. However, there is a time to pull off of the road and rest. This week, a friend called me to share that she had hit a wall. She’s simply exhausted from trying so hard. Can you relate? Is it time for you to recuperate, to recharge? If so, I encourage you to put your job search on the shelf for a day…for a weekend…for a week. Consult your soul and some close friends and you’ll know how much time is needed. Then give yourself permission (grace) to give yourself a break. As our Creator says in Matthew, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
Monday, August 31, 2009
4 Root Causes of Negative Emotions
While I was listening to a goals training (GOALS!) by Brian Tracy, he talked about how negative emotions play such a big part in blocking us from getting what we want (like a job!). I found the info profound enough to dictate it and use it as a resource (below). If any of the info raises any personal awareness, see it is a huge victory that you have exposed this huge weight you’ve been dragging along preventing you from moving toward what you want. Then choose to let go of it.
NEGATIVE EMOTIONS
The greatest enemy of success and happiness are negative emotions, of all kinds. Negative emotions absorb you and control much of your life and your thinking. Negative emotions hold you down, tire you out and take away all of your joy in life.
4 Root Causes of Negative Emotions
JUSTIFICATION
You can only be negative as long as you can justify to yourself and others that you are entitled to be angry or upset for some reason. This is why angry people are continually explaining and elaborating on their reasons for their negative feelings. However, if you cannot justify your negative feelings, you cannot justify being angry.
RATIONALIZATION
When you rationalize, you attempt to give a socially acceptable rationalization for an otherwise socially unacceptable act. You rationalize to explain away or put a favorable light on something you have done that you feel bad or unhappy about. You excuse your behavior or actions by creating an explanation that sounds good even though you know that you were an active agent in whatever occurred. You often create complex ways of putting yourself in the right by explaining that your behavior was really quite acceptable, all things considered. This rationalizing keeps your negative emotions alive.
Rationalization and justification always require that you make someone or something else the source or cause of your problem. You cast yourself in the role of the victim and you make the other person, or organization into the oppressor or the bad guy.
OVERCONCERN OR HYPER-SENSITIVITY TO THE WAY OTHER PEOPLE TREAT YOU
For some people, their entire self-image is determined by the way other people speak to them, talk to them or about them or even look at them. They have little sense of personal value or self-worth apart from the opinions of others. And if those opinions are negative for any reason, real or imagined, the victim immediately experiences anger, embarrassment, shame, feelings of inferiority, and even depression, self-pity and despair.
BLAMING
Blaming is the worst of all the root causes. On the Negative Emotions Tree, think of the trunk of the tree as the propensity to blame other people for our problems. Once you cut down the trunk of the tree, all the fruits of the tree, all the other negative emotions die immediately.
From this point forward, see and think about yourself as the master of your emotions, that you are completely in charge of your emotions. Refuse to whine and complain about things that happened in the past which cannot be changed. Instead, orient yourself toward the future. Think of what you want and where you’re going. Above all, think about your goals. The very act of thinking about your goals makes you positive and purposeful again.
When you take complete responsibility for your life and your emotions, you take the giant step from childhood to adulthood.
NEGATIVE EMOTIONS
The greatest enemy of success and happiness are negative emotions, of all kinds. Negative emotions absorb you and control much of your life and your thinking. Negative emotions hold you down, tire you out and take away all of your joy in life.
4 Root Causes of Negative Emotions
JUSTIFICATION
You can only be negative as long as you can justify to yourself and others that you are entitled to be angry or upset for some reason. This is why angry people are continually explaining and elaborating on their reasons for their negative feelings. However, if you cannot justify your negative feelings, you cannot justify being angry.
RATIONALIZATION
When you rationalize, you attempt to give a socially acceptable rationalization for an otherwise socially unacceptable act. You rationalize to explain away or put a favorable light on something you have done that you feel bad or unhappy about. You excuse your behavior or actions by creating an explanation that sounds good even though you know that you were an active agent in whatever occurred. You often create complex ways of putting yourself in the right by explaining that your behavior was really quite acceptable, all things considered. This rationalizing keeps your negative emotions alive.
Rationalization and justification always require that you make someone or something else the source or cause of your problem. You cast yourself in the role of the victim and you make the other person, or organization into the oppressor or the bad guy.
OVERCONCERN OR HYPER-SENSITIVITY TO THE WAY OTHER PEOPLE TREAT YOU
For some people, their entire self-image is determined by the way other people speak to them, talk to them or about them or even look at them. They have little sense of personal value or self-worth apart from the opinions of others. And if those opinions are negative for any reason, real or imagined, the victim immediately experiences anger, embarrassment, shame, feelings of inferiority, and even depression, self-pity and despair.
BLAMING
Blaming is the worst of all the root causes. On the Negative Emotions Tree, think of the trunk of the tree as the propensity to blame other people for our problems. Once you cut down the trunk of the tree, all the fruits of the tree, all the other negative emotions die immediately.
From this point forward, see and think about yourself as the master of your emotions, that you are completely in charge of your emotions. Refuse to whine and complain about things that happened in the past which cannot be changed. Instead, orient yourself toward the future. Think of what you want and where you’re going. Above all, think about your goals. The very act of thinking about your goals makes you positive and purposeful again.
When you take complete responsibility for your life and your emotions, you take the giant step from childhood to adulthood.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
How to Keep Your Job
Create value by looking for and acting upon opportunities to do things outside the scope of your responsibilities. Think of the things you do outside of what's asked of you as an investment in your own future; you literally become more valuable. People with this attitude of service are the first ones to get promoted and the last ones to be laid off.
Monday, January 5, 2009
This is hard...
Wow, this is hard. After 2 1/2 years of talking about starting a new career, I finally followed my heart and took action in the spring of '08. This is where everything falls into place...right? This is where all the stars align in my favor...right? Yeah, whatever. Apparently, the road less traveled is not easier...who knew? I recently heard that 82% of America is unconscious--simply going through the motions. Ahh, to be one of the lucky ones.
I spent the first 40 years of my life doing just that; working hard on whatever career life tossed in front of me. I didn't think about much. I didn't think about what I really wanted. I certainly didn't think much about what other people wanted. It was all about making sure I had enough money to take care of me and then from there, "checking out" in one form or the other. Those were the good ole' days...weren't they?
The last four years have been different. They've been years of asking the big questions like, "What is my life all about?" and "What was I put on this planet for?" and wacky thoughts of "How can I be of service to others?". They've been years about not simply tolerating the status quo. They've been about growth and learning. Sure, it all sounds great and profound...but there's a price.
Once you open Pandora's Box, there ain't no closing it, friends. You are about to embark upon a journey of many ups and downs...of many failures because of the new risks you're taking...of many moments alone questioning yourself and envying those aforementioned lucky ones.
HOWEVER, this is where the adventure begins. When you choose to ask the tough questions and begin the practice of entering the unknown, I have found that this is where it starts. For this new journey of not knowing and continuing anyway...this is where the heart comes alive...this is where the juices start to flow...this is where you start becoming you--the you that you were born to be and have yearned to be for years!
If you're already on the journey, whatever you do, DON'T STOP! If you're thinking about starting...JUMP IN! I know, I know....it sucks! It's hard! It's much easier the old way! But trust me, it's not...it just seems that way. It's a lie from that old bad voice in our head that has always led us down the wrong path and doesn't want us to be truly happy. If you think that stepping out of your comfort zone and trying new things is hard...try waking up 20 years from now and bathing in a tubful of regrets--reflecting on all of the things you thought about doing or wanted to try, but you didn't....NOW, that sounds hard!
Rather, listen to your heart...in fact, go deeper yet...listen to your soul. The answers you're looking for are there waiting, in fact, they've always been there. Keep asking the tough questions. Keep taking action toward what it is that speaks to your core. Commit to the journey and watch YOUR life unfold.
As Andy Dufresne (Tim Robbins) said in The Shawshank Redemption, "Get busy living or get busy dying".
I spent the first 40 years of my life doing just that; working hard on whatever career life tossed in front of me. I didn't think about much. I didn't think about what I really wanted. I certainly didn't think much about what other people wanted. It was all about making sure I had enough money to take care of me and then from there, "checking out" in one form or the other. Those were the good ole' days...weren't they?
The last four years have been different. They've been years of asking the big questions like, "What is my life all about?" and "What was I put on this planet for?" and wacky thoughts of "How can I be of service to others?". They've been years about not simply tolerating the status quo. They've been about growth and learning. Sure, it all sounds great and profound...but there's a price.
Once you open Pandora's Box, there ain't no closing it, friends. You are about to embark upon a journey of many ups and downs...of many failures because of the new risks you're taking...of many moments alone questioning yourself and envying those aforementioned lucky ones.
HOWEVER, this is where the adventure begins. When you choose to ask the tough questions and begin the practice of entering the unknown, I have found that this is where it starts. For this new journey of not knowing and continuing anyway...this is where the heart comes alive...this is where the juices start to flow...this is where you start becoming you--the you that you were born to be and have yearned to be for years!
If you're already on the journey, whatever you do, DON'T STOP! If you're thinking about starting...JUMP IN! I know, I know....it sucks! It's hard! It's much easier the old way! But trust me, it's not...it just seems that way. It's a lie from that old bad voice in our head that has always led us down the wrong path and doesn't want us to be truly happy. If you think that stepping out of your comfort zone and trying new things is hard...try waking up 20 years from now and bathing in a tubful of regrets--reflecting on all of the things you thought about doing or wanted to try, but you didn't....NOW, that sounds hard!
Rather, listen to your heart...in fact, go deeper yet...listen to your soul. The answers you're looking for are there waiting, in fact, they've always been there. Keep asking the tough questions. Keep taking action toward what it is that speaks to your core. Commit to the journey and watch YOUR life unfold.
As Andy Dufresne (Tim Robbins) said in The Shawshank Redemption, "Get busy living or get busy dying".
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